Concept art

» Written on December 14, 2007 at 3:25 AM «

Is getting harder and harder to actually visualize these days, let alone actually execute. I mean, I used to be able to  at least churn out a piece of crap in about an hour or so; it’s hard to stomach the fact that I actually spent about 3 hours working on this current piece of work.

And I’m not even sure what I want to do with it in the first place. Honestly, right now it’s just yet another of those generic forest-slash-stream paintings that could be done by a monkey with a Wacom and a couple of custom brushes in a couple of minutes. I did use only the default Photoshop brush sets, and mostly limited myself to making each individual stroke, which was especially a pain in the ass when working on the ground texture. Behold!

wip

Also, when I say work-in-progress, understand that this is really a work in progress. Like, I wouldn’t even start trying to look at details yet.

I kind of have an idea of what this will look like when I’m done with it, I guess; I don’t start drawing stuff aimlessly (though I should start, considering the amount of material I actually produce, but considering the amount of time I took to get to this point, I’m highly doubtful I’ll be able to pull off my intended visions with the necessary grandeur. We’ll see.

Yes, this is related to what I’ve been working on over the holidays, though right now I’m kind of worried that it’s not really heading in the right direction at the moment, considering the meager amount of work that I’ve actually gotten around to doing, and the fact that my holidays have already reached the halfway mark. I’m not really sure when I turned into this lazy, uncontrollable slob without the slightest trace of self-discipline whatsoever, but I’d really like to find out when I can turn into something else. Yes, yes I know I need to work in order to get anything done, but I have no idea why I can’t even motivate myself to do the things I like anymore. It’s disconcerting, to say the least.

Anyway, I guess the only reason I’m posting this little tidbit is because I’m feeling a tad guilty over my recent frenzy over trying to get as much playtime as I can out of my newfound freedom. It’s, for lack of a less-overused cliche, a drug of sorts: once you get that first headshot in Team Fortress 2, once you have sex with Shani get that 4-hit combo attack in The Witcher, or play a bout of coop in Gears of War, it’s addictive and it won’t let you go from its grasp. And I haven’t even started on World in Conflict; I just need to figure out these goddamned NAT issues.

But then again, even after spending 6 hour marathons (or more) in front of a screen losing myself in worlds distant and varied, I still don’t seem to get any sort of satisfaction out of it anymore. I can’t understand it; it’s like I’m apathetic to games these days. Frankly speaking, if it weren’t for the teamwork on the TF2 servers that I play on, I wouldn’t even bother playing it at all. The Witcher has my attention during the times when my US associates are either at work or sleeping, and Gears of War, well, whenever I can find a competent teammate. It’s like I crave the teamwork more than the actual game these days, and that’s well…I’m not sure if that’s a bad sign or just bad. I mean, if I can’t even enjoy games, how the hell am I going to survive?

   

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